To Die
by VeryLilGrace
Summary: I was dying and He came in to my life and made me feel like I wasnt dying, I felt reborn. Oneshot! Please read and review! Names at end of chapter!


Hey Everyone! This is just a short story, one-shot. Ive been working on it for a while and it kinda reflects a relationship between me an this one guy, but Im not sick. DON'T WORRY!  
And just so you know the names of the characters wont be said until somewhere near the end of this story!

**&&&**

I watched him from afar. I'm no stalker or anything, I just watch him whenever he passes by and Im with my friends. I always wonder if he sees me and thinks about me too. We know about each others feelings but they never made a difference between us. That night on the beach never made a difference and he will never change.

People say he's a jerk and treat girls bad. He talks to much shit and thinks he's everything. They say that I shouldn't go out with him and then they say I should. They don't want a girl like me going out with a guy like him because I'm 'innocent' and 'sweet'. They think I cant be dirty once in a while but then they all don't know me at all.

Today though, something is different. I cant really put my foot on it but there's deep feeling in my mind that something will happen, or maybe thats just the feel of too much hope, or the squeeze on my heart that send tingles throughout my body and my nose starts to sting from it.

Now though, its the end of the day and I have to sit and wait for the damn bus. It was ok to wait for it, it was just that I just want to be home and relax my body and my mind. Hours of thinking and writing and all the other things we do in school.

Sometime when I sit at mine and my friends original bench, I see him walking by and Id pretend to be looking at something else then turn my head to his direction and he be looking my way. With my chin in my hand and a smile of my face, I try to look good and I wave. Of course, when he waves and feel the butterflies flutter in my stomach and a giggle passes my lips.

Then, when Im alone and just standing, sitting, whatever, Ill stare off into space and think of anything. Ill be thinking of my friends, my problems, the way the sun shines on certain things, art stuff, and him. My friends would pass by and say hi and then Id go into my little stupor and stare and stare.

I wouldn't know how long I had sat there in the same exact position as before, but then Id hear his voice, see his face. Ill admit I am a petty school girl and I get giddy when Im around guys but with him, I'm just my normal self with a blush on and when he's with me, maybe he's himself with that stupid look on his face. Yes_, his stupid face. The one that has the silly grin._

**&&&**

I sat on the examination table in the hospital. It was cold mostly because of the gown I wore and the table crinkled under my constant movement. The florescent light sent shadows across the floor and gave me sense of dread

The fast heart beats, nausea, and sweating started a long ago but has gotten worst within the couple weeks of school. At first, I thought the rapid heartbeats were from physical activities or uncontrollable laughing. Then, my brother had found me in the bathroom throwing my lungs out. I don't really know what is was that caused it, but it just continued and kept in my own dark and away from everyone else. Then, Id go in to total sweat mode even though it was hot and I was in classes or working.

It scared me and it will scare everyone I know.

"Coronary heart disease," the doctor finally told my mom and me. I was paling by the seconds and all I could do was to simply stare. "Usually it is in people of older age, but for some reason, you have it. It has progress and now at this point there is very little we could do."

I was going to die and Ive been dying for a long time now. I cant change anything now. "Ho-how," my voice sounded hollow and foreign, "How long d-do I have?"

"Two to three months."

**&&&**

That was three weeks ago and only five more left. My family grew in mourning and the house became days of endless knowledge of my shortened life. Then, there were the days where we would just do things to cheer us up.

I continued school just to make sure no one panicked about my absence or to warn them of my condition. Well, the nurse, counselor, and principle knew, but not the students or anyone else. No friends knew. I felt separated from them.

_But then, I couldn't keep it to myself.  
_  
It was during P.E and a wave of dizziness hit me like water. It wouldn't clear and a bad taste entered my mouth. I couldn't clear my eyes from all the black dots and my head started to pound. I heard my friend call my name from a distance and feet running and stomping. Next, my body completely on the ground and my friends face fuzzes into front on my face.

The whole school heard of me and what had happened. Even the students family heard. I couldn't go anywhere after that without being talked to with sympathy so I just simply went to school and came home and just did chores or just sat around, walked around. Anything, that is unless my mom or grandpa asked me to go to the store for them.

I no longer had to wait for the bus. I had gotten my license before my diagnosis. I would hang out with the same friends after school, but they were always gentle around me, but today I wanted to be alone.

I always want to be alone now.

As, I'm good at it, I stare and watch the football team practice. I know they I'm here, but their coach just yells at them and, "Leave, the poor girl alone." This was all inevitable and I couldn't do anything about it.

It was starting to get cold and I tightened my jacket around my body. These days were getting colder and colder and I will never again feel summer, or spring. Christmas was on its way, in two more weeks.

"My last Christmas," I cupped my face in my hands and set my elbows on my knees, "I hope I get something good." My eyes widened.

_Oh, kami! There he is!_

The butterflies fluttered in my stomach, but I stay still. We never really talk anymore and we have nothing in common just the fact that we both had feelings but that all went down and burned.

I had made it to my car an hour later and the football players had gone in fifteen minutes ago. My heart was beating fast and I had to stop and lean against the car door. Life had become hard for me. I had to always stop to catch my breath even to pull over. I was always hungry but there was a constant chance of throwing it up and eating more just to start the process over.

I didn't even see or hear someone walking up to me, but I felt their hand grab my shoulder. I look up and its him.

"Are you alright?" he voice was nice and the butterflies stirred again. In his eyes he felt welcoming and caring. His hand warmed me from its spot on my shoulder. It felt right.

"No," I wiped the sweat off my forehead and straightened my cloths, fumbled my key and threw my keys through the open door. I was always this nervous around him but now I just didn't care much about it, considering I had only about one to two months left.

_I'm gonna try to make those moments count._

If he wants me then he's gonna have to work hard, because I was not about to waste anymore time. When did I come up with this revelation? When I sat on the bleachers, getting colder and colder. I thought and thought. _What was one thing that people always want to do before they died? _It was an obvious answer and it was one I was happy with. It wasn't like any miracle answer, but it was simply, _Live your life ._

"Where are you going?" he asked. Actually, I had no clue where I was gonna go. I glanced him a curious, confused look and just leaned against the car again. I know he knows I'm sick, but he doesn't know I'm dying. "You don't know, do you?" He was a smooth talker and he was, without fail, a flirt.

"No," I was giving him simple answers. On purpose.

"Come on," he grabbed my keys for my hand, closed all the windows in my car and locked it up. Next, were hand in hand walking through the parking lot. We come up to a black Audi. Sitting in the passenger seat, next to him, I had no clue where he was taking me.

**&&&**

"What are we doing?" I ask as I followed him through the dunes of sand, with the sound of crashing waves. Well, what d'ya' know? Back at the beach. I had left my shoes in the car and bugged him out of hell with my damn questions.

"Just hurry up," he looked behind and flashed a grin. Over the next dune, I saw a glow of light and the beat of music. _Oh kami, not a party! _I looked down at the drunk and dancing individuals. I didn't know how they managed to do all this. It was away from any resident and out of ears of the officials. It was unbelievable.

I don't know but at some point for all the drinks and all the dancing, I had gotten mad, left the party, and ended up alone on the shore. I didn't feel drunk and I don't think I get drunk easily, but then I have been wrong. I might not remember this in the morning and Ill probably wake up with a pounding headache.

Arms encased me, a body pressed against mine. I knew it was him. He smelled like rain and every time I smelled him, I pictured rain falling from the sky and wetting my skin. He was what I always wanted and now I just cant think. My mind is cloudy and my heart swells with something I cant describe.

Then, his breath is on my face and his eyes are wild and bright. I could sleep for days because of those eyes and I never want to stop. They remind me of freedom and uniqueness, they show emotion for me I have never seen and I want to keep it.

"You have no idea how long I've wanted this," on his breath I could smell to alcohol but his eyes were clear and his speech was fine. He didn't seem effected at all. He grabbed my chin in his hands and lifted my turned down face. I knew I had a look of want on my face and that he could read it and the sadness behind it. These times to come were going to be the only time Ill have left with him. If I have him.

His lips seared mine. It was not a rough kiss, just a gentle one. It was great and it felt good. I just cant imagine where things will go from here, now that we are kissing, things could be complicated or simply simple. In truth, I wanted more from him.

I never really told anyone why I like him and I don't think I ever will, but just to say right now: He seems different and more real with me then with others. In his eyes i could see the eternal life I could have. I truth he makes me feel relaxed but nervous at the same time. We are whole different people around each other.

I don't know how long our kiss lasted but I had found us making out in the sand when I became fully aware of the world outside my head. His hands crawled up my body expertly and his kiss tasted sweet. This was a moment I wanted to last.

**&&&**

I was sitting on a long outside his car, next to him, wiping the sand from our bodies. The moon hung bright and full and the air became damp. On our trek back to his car, we hardly said anything, with my in his arms. _Did he get tired of holding me?_

He held me, bridal style, while my body drift in and out of sleep, mostly because of all the alcohol I had drank. My legs and arms felt watery and my eyes got heavy. I didn't ask him to do what he did, he just did it, and I appreciated it full heatedly.

I stared out to the sea. It looked like a massive, black blob trying to eat me and take me from the land of the living. I wasn't scared of it, I was just scared to leave. I felt like I had been cheated from my life and fate was never going to give up on having me gone and into a sea of dead souls.

"I'm dying," I didn't even think on it, it just came out. From the corner of my eye, I saw him freeze and stop his work. _What will he do now? _He slowly turn his head to me and stared. My favorite pass time activity. He could take me home and walk me to the door or he could take me home and never talk to me again.

_What will he do?_

_**&&&**_

Thats was a month ago and again I'm in the hospital. My back is practically sweating from laying down in the same position forever, I feel like a mess, and I'm think to myself, _It was great while it lasted. _

I had fallen again, but this time I hit my head on the kitchen counter. I was alone, but I don't know for how long. It felt like forever. My body was growing cold and numbness took over my body. I was dreaming before my grandpa found me. I dreamt of nothing but the ocean. The ocean and him and me. No one but us and we had a lifetime together just sitting there watching the sunrise and how the ocean caught its light.

_It was beautiful. Beautiful._

I knew I didn't have much time left as I laid in the bed, under the blankets, in a hospital gown. An I.V. stuck in my arm and a cord attached to me monitoring my heart. The constant beep next to my head and the sound of the T.V coming from the control next to my arm.

_I didn't know when death would take me. Death._

My room door opened and he came in, papers in hand. I smiled big and giggled at the fact I got to have him. My last month with him was one I will never forget. He proved to be honest and loving. He didn't leave me like I thought he would. He stayed.

_He stayed._

He came to me and kissed me on the lips and sat in the chair next to my bed, the one my friend was just sitting in. He held my hand softly but protectively. He watched my face and spoke loving words to me.

_He held my hand._

His fingers fingered my finger. Twisting the silver band that hugged my finger. He hand given it to me and I gave him one too. He told me that he did not always love me, but my sickness changed his heart. I could tell it changed him. He was no longer a flirtatious young man, but one with the experience of one who is about o lose someone great to them.

_"I have the papers. It was final two weeks ago."_

His voice was soft and he spoke in a whisper. I loved him for who he was, not what. I have always loved him. I will never stop loving him.

_"I love you, so much."_

I stroked his silky hair and tangled my fingures in it. Finally, I spoke,

_"Sesshomaru, from the short time of being your wife, I have felt better then I have my whole life. I was never sick with you. My life became beautiful with you in it." My eyes fluttered, my voice became hard to talk with. "I want you to have a life. Don't shut the world out after this."_

He sat on the edge of the bed and put his forehead on my own.

_"If only we had more time, my Kagome."_

_"We do. Live it for both of us."_

_"I swear, my love."_

_"I love you."_

**&&&**

Her hand went limp in mine. I felt my heart drop and tears splashed down on our joined hands, each with silver wedding bands.

She had been everything for me and now shes dead. Death took her and shes waiting for me and I will be seeing her, but not yet. I made a promise and I will keep it. She was and always will be my first love and wife and I will never forget her.

_She was always beautiful, even now._

_**END**_

Oh I put in a really sad ending! I think I going to make myself cry! Ah, there goes a tear!

Thank you or reading this! And please...**review!**


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